the case of hijab: hump and lump

i started wearing my hijab when i was 14. i had an amazing dream which i rather not shared cause it's gonna eat up your precious time. i was blessed back then, able to gather my strength and fight temptation of changing my whole image as a Muslim woman. however, in the first few years i started to wear hijab, i was still, what people would called, 'jahil'. hijab with short sleeve or shirts that are too short showing the butt off, tight leggings showing the thigh, see-through shirts (yeah, seriously). i had no awareness of whatsoever of why Muslim women wear hijab. oh God, forgive me. but as i learn more about Islam, mixed around with good Muslim women role models, i've started to see the purpose. yes, i'm still not perfect now. every now and then, i still made mistakes but i'm glad i have that awareness. thank you, Allah.

now, i wear hijab with more appropriate attire. i kept reminding myself when i look into the mirror before i leave home. am i wearing it properly? is it too tight? i bombarded myself with various questions, to awaken the 'jahil-ness'. lol. and it works. 

one thing i realize nowadays is that, Muslim women in Malaysia wearing hijab in a very disturbing manner. especially the one with lump and hump that is too big on the top of the head or the one who make you look like a nun. yes, i've made that mistakes when i thought i can be more fashionable, but i realize that i have gone too far from the main purpose. so, i got back on the track. i decided to stay conservative at the moment and may Allah grant me strength. 

"Dua golongan ahli neraka yang belum pernah aku lihat ialah, satu golongan memegang cemeti seperti ekor lembu yang digunakan bagi memukul manusia, dan satu golongan lagi wanita yang memakai pakaian tetapi telanjang dan meliuk-liuk badan juga kepalanya seperti bonggol unta yang tunduk. Mereka tidak masuk syurga dan tidak dapat mencium baunya walaupun bau syurga itu dapat dicium daripada jarak yang jauh." (Hadis riwayat Muslim)

Wallahu'alam bissawab~ 

like i said before, i'm not perfect. i still make mistakes. and i really hope you (yeah, you) help me become a better person. don't let me drown in a pool of sins. amin.