of Angel and Twilight

vs

friends told me before, not once but countless time, that i'm not into overrated stuff. overrated movies, overrated fashion, overrated songs. or whatever overrated. see, now i'm overrating the 'overrated'.

i have tried to like things that i don't like for the sake of trying. maybe i tried too hard and it all ended up as a major failure. here's one them, i'm still in my best attempt to grasp the excitement when it comes to vampires.  the twilight, vampire diaries, to name a few.  i have watched the movies and the series and i think i have the right to judge, as an audience. i went to see the movie with my fiance, (my boyfriend at that time) and i ended up in my slumber party. but i did stay to see the credits at the end though.all seems fake to me. the protagonist wears a make-up so thick to evoke the vampires look, and that's where my annoyance towards vampires was born. everything and everyone in the story bites and it's like a food chain. it's the same plot just with a different sound track, i suppose.

honestly, i used to be gugu-gaga over vampires. once upon a time. a series called Angel featuring David Boreanaz as a vampire. but it was not or even close like the Twilight. the characters were varied, and David Boreanaz didn't even wear extra BB cream, foundation, and high-protein flour for the vampire  effects, the plots were filled with suspense, not so much of biting activity and the most important thing is, nobody really care about that series. i like the feeling of watching something that others don't even bother to take a glimpse of. it's the feeling of privacy.

i truly honestly understand why i'm not into it. people have different personal taste and everyone should stay that way. for example, i'm a die-hard fan of Lord of the Rings, i just don't get it why others find it ridiculous. i think it's the same feeling for the Twilight fan.

i have nothing against a fan of Twilight. they have rights to like what they like. it's not the fan i'm criticizing but it's the concept of the movie. vampires, now, are really not my cuppa coffee and i see no future in vampires in my upcoming movie list. but maybe someday i will (who knows), but not just yet. better luck next time, dude. i'm in no team, may it be Edward or Jacob.

ps/ just a little note to Edward, Jacob and Bella.
      "Edward, please use less make-up. less is more, you know."
      "Jacob, please wear your shirts. you are no Salman Khan."
      "Bella, work it out with your facial expressions. do it in front of the mirror"
just a random thoughts. lol.

love always,
ruhil nadiah.
 

mellow weekend

my weekend gonna be kinda mellow.
my fiance and his friend went to Medan
for short 'honeymoon'. without me. yucks.
hahaha. hope all is well there. i pray to
Allah to grant him safety. amin.
and i really hope he spend his leisure time to the fullest.
have fun, love. ruhil loves you.

there he goes with the fake smile. lol. (taken somewhere in Medan)

ps/ missing you already. 

the case of hijab: hump and lump

i started wearing my hijab when i was 14. i had an amazing dream which i rather not shared cause it's gonna eat up your precious time. i was blessed back then, able to gather my strength and fight temptation of changing my whole image as a Muslim woman. however, in the first few years i started to wear hijab, i was still, what people would called, 'jahil'. hijab with short sleeve or shirts that are too short showing the butt off, tight leggings showing the thigh, see-through shirts (yeah, seriously). i had no awareness of whatsoever of why Muslim women wear hijab. oh God, forgive me. but as i learn more about Islam, mixed around with good Muslim women role models, i've started to see the purpose. yes, i'm still not perfect now. every now and then, i still made mistakes but i'm glad i have that awareness. thank you, Allah.

now, i wear hijab with more appropriate attire. i kept reminding myself when i look into the mirror before i leave home. am i wearing it properly? is it too tight? i bombarded myself with various questions, to awaken the 'jahil-ness'. lol. and it works. 

one thing i realize nowadays is that, Muslim women in Malaysia wearing hijab in a very disturbing manner. especially the one with lump and hump that is too big on the top of the head or the one who make you look like a nun. yes, i've made that mistakes when i thought i can be more fashionable, but i realize that i have gone too far from the main purpose. so, i got back on the track. i decided to stay conservative at the moment and may Allah grant me strength. 

"Dua golongan ahli neraka yang belum pernah aku lihat ialah, satu golongan memegang cemeti seperti ekor lembu yang digunakan bagi memukul manusia, dan satu golongan lagi wanita yang memakai pakaian tetapi telanjang dan meliuk-liuk badan juga kepalanya seperti bonggol unta yang tunduk. Mereka tidak masuk syurga dan tidak dapat mencium baunya walaupun bau syurga itu dapat dicium daripada jarak yang jauh." (Hadis riwayat Muslim)

Wallahu'alam bissawab~ 

like i said before, i'm not perfect. i still make mistakes. and i really hope you (yeah, you) help me become a better person. don't let me drown in a pool of sins. amin. 

shades of pink and baby's breath

it was last week, my engagement day.
i'm fully blessed it all happened according to plan, thank you, Allah.
although, at the end of the day, both of us were drenched in the heavy rain,
i considered it as a blessed shower. bless us, Allah. bless us in so many ways. amin.

ps/ i love you, munir asyraf.

life after all that is done

wow. this space really smells like mold and mildew.
it's not that i've been so busy, my feelings just won't
let me blurt out something lame and cheesy.
so i decided not to write.
anyway, life after all that is done was pretty much the same.
on the plateau. no ups and no downs, thank God.
just brushing my skills in my office called kitchen.
talking to my cats as if they were human being.
managing laundry.. yadayadayada..
these jobs are monotonous. repetitive.
but i found blessings in between the jobs.
my mummy don't have to rush home just to cook for lunch,
my dad has a friend at home and my sister, erm, she should thank me for all
the housework i done. lol. just to see them smile at the end of the day is priceless.
just to hear them saying, "thanks for the lunch. we're full!" or
"what a great day! bile balik ade orang siap masak, kain siap lipat"
this is not to boast but to show others how easy to please your parents.
this is my ultimate satisfaction of the day.
and this is my life after all that is done.

my kind of Raya

Assalamualaikum..
MasyaAllah.. i just caught a spiderweb on my blog.
it's been a while. i haven't update in this small space given by the web itself. Alhamdulillah, life is great here at home. and yeah, i miss my Korea. but life goes on, as usual.

Raya was amazing. great time to catch up with family and relative but bad for the stomach. on the very first day of raya, my stomach had a culture shock. previous day i was a vegetarian and suddenly i am a beast. oh God, forgive me for this ugly behavior. but i was on my not-so-strict diet since then.

right after i arrived at my kampung, felt like i'm a superstar making a comeback. they haven't see me quite a while, so please don't try to imagine what sort of questions they shot at me. countless and repetitive. but, i was okay. it is normal. i would do the same thing if i were them too. and yeah, at my golden teenage, i still got my raya money. Alhamdulillah. but definitely not next year. lol.

Raya, is a great day to catch and patch things up with family, relatives, friends and loved one. i'm glad Allah gave me chances to celebrate raya this time around,  i have chances to ask forgiveness to others. but the best way to ask forgiveness is everyday, even through prayers with whomever you want. and forgive people before you sleep. who knows that it will be your last night alive.

p/s my raya was a blessed. i hope yours too.

love always,
ruhil nadiah~

the time has come

the time has come.
this will be my last night in Seoul.
but i had spent it wisely. surrounded with happy people. for the past few days, i had filled my time with laughter and tears. i went to the places i love the most and leave half of my heart there. the places will remember me, i hope. but i know that this is not a goodbye. this nice place will always has a spot right in my heart. i love you, Korea and all the lovely people. you will be missed. for sure.

ps/ Korea, you will remember me, will you?

love always,
ruhil nadiah

take it off

this is what happen when you don't read and you don't know but you act like you know everything. this program has been one of the most popular show in Korea. people, here and there, show their talents in so many ways. sometimes, in the most embarrassing and ridiculous ways. the controversial issue in this episode ( i haven't watch it live, though) has been circulating on the web. it portrayed Islam and Arab people in the most disturbing ways. i won't say more, you can watch and judge it yourself.

related to this issue, i have experienced somewhat similar perceptions for the past three years living in Korea. as a woman wearing hijab, i got so many perplexing and funny questions from Koreans; professors, friends, and even strangers. some of the questions are acceptable and some are... errr.. what should i say.. very provoking. i thank Allah for the patience He gave me explaining on why hijab is my choice. below are some of the questions and statements about my hijab:

1. isn't it hot? take it off, it's depressing.

my answer: yes, it's hot but i can handle it and i'm used to it, thank you. 

my heart: PLEASE, you don't have to feel depress for me. 

2. it's such a waste, you will look better without it. take it off.

my answer: i don't think it's a waste and i'm OKAY with it. i don't dress to impress people.

my heart: i want to look better for Allah during the Judgment Day and definitely not for you.

3. i don't think you have to wear it here, it's not like you are in Malaysia or anything. that's why you don't have a lot of Korean friends. they are scared of your image. (this statement was made by one of my ex-classmate. she's making a fool of herself)

my answer: i have to wear it and i like to wear it because of Islam. i didn't come here to make a lot of friends and i don't care if they are scared of my image. 

my heart: what is wrong with you? such a shame, you are doing you doctorate yet you are still amazingly dumb.

4. taxi driver: are you Muslim?

    me: yes, i am.

    taxi driver: i heard that when women Muslims marry they have to obey their husband and they will get beaten. so are you gonna be one of them? 

    me: what???????????????????????????????????????????

    

my heart: speechless. 

5.  i heard that Muslim women cannot have education and talk to other people (man), is it true?

my answer: errr.. i'm doing my masters now and obviously, i'm talking to you.

*one of the funny questions, but this man was honest. after that i explain to him a little bit about Islam.

6. "you don't believe in Jesus, you go to hell!!" 

this is not fictional or make-believe incident. happened to me few years ago while i'm in the train. this crazy man, came to me and said that and he held my shoulder hard and yelling at me. everybody in the train was so shocked and nobody did anything. it was very rude, ugly and disrespectful. i could have lost my patience and punch his nose but that would be too much. i wish i did. lol.

these are all just a few examples. some of it were very honest questions and i'm always more than welcome to spread the truth about Islam. and some of them, as you can see.. was as invitation to a nose-punch. but i can't blame them 100%. the media must have misled them about Islam. but what we can do now is to spread the truth and fix the misunderstandings. let's do that together!

ps/ ya Allah, you made me born into Islam, let me die in Islam. amin.

love always,
ruhil nadiah

time, treat me well, will you?

i have so little time but so many things to do, so many things to catch up, so many things to reminisce. i'm arranging my limited time to avoid regrets. but at the same time, i wanted time to spend on my own. to walk through memories. i love this place. seriously, i do. for the past three years, i have learned to go through pain and stand up again, learn new things, tolerate the intolerable, love the difference and explore new comfort places. here, i also learned to deal with heartbreak. here, i found the love of my life. here, i befriended nice people whom i called family. here, i get to know Islam in depth. here, i got the strength to do things on my own. here... changed me. physically, emotionally, spiritually in most unique ways. God knows.

yet, life goes on. it changes, just like us. so, i spend my last days in Korea, telling myself that everything will be okay. because there are so many amazing things await me in Malaysia. here, will be one of my best pieces of life and i know Malaysia offers so much more, Insyaallah.

before. three years ago.

oh yeah, few days ago.

*lol. not much different, i guess.

p/s: dear Allah, let me spend my last few days here wisely. time, treat me well, will you?

love always,
ruhil nadiah

Fattah, come back home, please.

she is more than just a pet. she's a friend, she's a doll, she's my baby and she's my family. i have been taking care of her since birth, since 2004. both of us had a wonderful journey. she always come back home at the end of the day. without fail. but last month, she did not make it home. all of the sudden. i have been missing her, and now that i'm going back home.. i would not be able to see her in front of my door steps. but i'm sure Allah has better place for her. may she be safe, wherever you are. mama miss u, Fattah. come back home, i miss you.

p/s: she's the mummy of all my cats. she is not from the high-breed cats, but she's the best! independent, caring, funny, adventurous, smart and amazing.

elemen-elemen dalam video klip

suddenly it hit me while i'm browsing youtube. i noticed something music videos have in common, in general. i noticed certain elements or patterns. video klip dibawah cume contoh. ade lagi, kene rajin skit je mencari. lol.

1) mesti nak gaduh atau berconflict time-time hujan. lebat plak tu. mungkin kegunaan payung tak dapat impak yang maksima terhadap penonton. kadang2 tu sambil nyanyi kot. nak nyanyi lagi, nak nafas dalam hujan lagi.

2) kalau vokalis pompuan nyanyi dan die berambut panjang, mesti nak ade effect angin. feeling2 windy skit. mase kecik2 suke gak buat depan kipas, tak tahu plak ade effect untuk industri hiburan.

3) lagu hiphop, scene nak kt club mesti ade sorang laki, pastu ade wanita keliling pinggang, budget2 hot. ade minuman kaler2. takpun dalam kereta sport tidak beratap. bawak laju2, ketawa riang nak slow motion.

yang terbaru ni agak horror skit:

4)  buat video klip kat tengah padang jarak padang terkukur. tibe2 tgh2 ade set drum dan sofa. biasenye artis kite suke buat. jenuh jugak nak angkut menatang tu. panas lagi. kental sungguh.

5) ade at one time, orang buat video klip ala2 alam maya. cukup tak gemar. nampak cam nak buat last minute. tampal background je. moyaa. tapi mungkin time tu abes canggih, jadi tak boleh nak salahkan jugak. tengok sudah.

so far, itu je kot yang saya notice. this is not to criticize, but just the things i noticed as an audience. who am i to judge. but at least we can see the patterns, right? macam dah ade certain standards untuk menjayakan video klip plak. art goes beyond border, it doesn't have its limit, so explore and do more (creatively)!

unnamed paintings

few days ago, i had a dinner with my best friend, Juna. we reunited after 13 years. no kidding. at first i thought, the reunion might be awkward since we've been disconnected for so long. but i was glad we managed to fill in the gaps with humors and old stories. and just like that we clicked!

she's an artist. an amazing artist i would describe. she paints with her own elements and create her own world on her canvas painting. she painted from heart and planted mystery in her painting. just like a word-search. it's there but you gotta find it. i saw all of her paintings. she showed my the pictures. i was mesmerized. i'm certainly not an artsy person but hers was different. the paintings were pure.

right now she's working on her paintings to get through exhibition in the galleries. i asked her the titles of some of her paintings but the paintings were unnamed. Juna wanted to let the audience decide for themselves. she wanted the audience to have a personal connection with her paintings. i think it's brilliant.

i wish her well.

this is Juna~

kenapa perlu marah-marah?

hot-tempered.

panas baran. sifat yang cukup huduh. sifat yang huduh ni wujud untuk menguji tahap kesabaran manusia yang tak berape nak sabar ni. asyik2 nak bagi amukan puaka. keluarla segala perkataan dan perbuatan yang huduh. huduh tak? huduh kan?

admit it, you could not tolerate too. every time some people throw their tantrums aimlessly, it looks as if their brain is located at their armpit. no, i'm serious. kenapa perlu marah-marah? come on, pujukla skit kemarahan tu. banyakkan istighfar. amik wuduk ke. takpun, kalo rase nak amuk juga gi duk sudut mane2 sorang2 dan layanlah emosi tu. no one will get hurt kan?

p/s: anger is always followed by stupidity and accompanied by regrets. 

love always,

ruhil nadiah~ 

puasa

Ramadan is one of my favorite month. hands down! time nak kumpul2 pahala (dengan ikhlas ye) dan kumpul2 dengan orang tersayang. and yeah, food. heaven. but please not too much. haha. there are lotsa interesting and scientific explanation on the wonders of fasting in Ramadan but i won't go to that. that, we can google. but this will be my own reasons why i like Ramadan:

1) extra prayers. extra deeds. extra everything that is nice will double up! amin~

2) food. time2 ni la rajin nak buat semua jenis menu. but for me, not this time. periuk belanga dah hantar naik kapal. so, perkakas dah takde.

3) healthy diet. selama ni makan je semua bende, penat perut nak proses. rase macam sedap  plak bile perut dah rehat.

4) bulan yang merapatkan silaturrahim. seriously. 'nak buka kat mane?' 'nak tarawih same2 tak?' 'nak sahur ape?' 'jom buka sekali?' lagi ramai, lagi best.

but there's one thing that bothers me about fasting. orang dewasa yang tak puasa tanpa alasan yang kukuh. penat? rokok? lapar? tak tahan? malas? budak tadika yang lembik2 tu pun kental je kot. pregnant mummy pun cube untuk bertahan. this should not happen.
we only restrain ourselves from eating, drinking and other activities, for about 12 hours or so. orang lain tak makan berhari-hari plak. siap tak tahu bile nak buka. tapi kite time berbuka makan macam perut takde dasar, bottomless. so, marilah rasa nikmat puasa, jangan ikut cakap perut. may Allah bless all of the muslims. amin~

p/s: puasa tau!

don't cry for me Korea.

it wasn't always like this. but this year, summer in Korea was disturbingly wet. nak pegi mane2 pun susah. kasut basah, baju basah, tudung basah, tangan basah. bertambah plak bile pakai payung saya yang glamour je lebih tapi fail untuk protect saya time hujan. damn. the wet feeling is so annoying and kinda disgusting if you think of all the spit you see on the street. okay, that's utterly disgusting.

of course the rainy days limited most of my favorite activities. nak jalan-jalan termenung, nak shopping2 (duit pun mencurah2 macam hujan), nak lepak2, nak picnic2. but the truth is, even if i feel like staying at home, i like it to be sunny outside. just like the feeling. hujan2 ni boleh mengundang banyak perasaan yang tak diundang. you know what i mean. semua la nak sayu2. mood pun swing swing. and no way i want to blame PMS. sangat overrated.

but come to think of it, it's not fair to blame the rainy days. hujan rahmat kan? takde hujan, complain panas. ade hujan complain, leceh. the trouble is with us, people. maybe if we learn to accept the fact that this summer gonna be rainy all the way, we would not be grumpy. and that is a reminder for me too. Allah tak menyusahkan umat die, kite je suke susahkan diri sendiri and blame everything around us.

p/s: this is out of context, but maybe it rains constantly in Korea because i'm leaving soon. lol. don't cry for me Korea.

lagu untuk time2 hujan. jangan emo kawan2. enjoy la rainy season dengan hati terbuka.

love always,
ruhil nadiah

lagu Ramadan yang klasik.

lagu yang wajib nyanyi dgn mummy
time bulan pose.

love actually.

this is him.
we started as a stranger.
we then turned into friend.
and became more than that.

this is him.
listen but doesn't talk.
care but doesn't show.
love but doesn't lie.

i love him.

my thoughts on drunk people

drunk people pisses me off.

they smell.

they talk crap.

they act like they own the world (of course since they are half-conscious).

and please.. not when they vomit all over the place.

i have experienced meeting various kind of drunk people.

not all bad, of course. but most of them were.

i even met a drunk old man who offered to carry my big heavy luggage.

 thank you, old man.

then, i met the worst. they laughed at me because of my hijab.

vomiting in public places.

shouting in the middle of the night.

if this is not Ramadhan, i already slapped them hard.

but, patience baby.. patience.

i thank Allah, for this beautiful religion which prohibits alcohol.

no fuss. no smell. no vomit. 

26 and fabulous.

Praise be to Allah. i'm alive and well.
i'm turning 26 this year.
so many things have changed.
i've tasted colorful experiences.
and met so many people and funny personalities.
argued and lost. argued and won.
tears and laughter.
but it has made all my days worth it.
life has been kind to me, i think.
i couldn't ask for more.
and i wouldn't want to wish to be younger.
i like being 26 and i'm enjoying it.
that's why i called it: 26 and fabulous.

friends

honestly, i am not that good with friends. my defensiveness limits me. however, i realize i need them in my life to get me back on the right track. we all need them no matter how much we try to deny it. 

'i can live without friends'

yeah, right. try that and tell me later. see how long can u live in your own island.

life is kinda tough here. being away from family and surrounded by strangers. but friends make it all OKAY. thank you friends. you know who you are. this limited space could never do justice to what all of you have done for me. ruhil loves you.

Ramadhan 2011

Alhamdulillah.
once again, Ramadhan is here to be cherished.
let's upgrade our faith
and keep the prayers alive.
Amin.

him

as simple as the four-letters word,
i found love in him. and him in love.

nirvana

i don't know from where i got the urge to try to listen to his music.
but i did. and i like it. am i too late?

not that i could think of

i could hear the two whispering in the thin air.
and the air passes through my thoughts as i breathe.
neither one of us is really listening
and kept on talking what's not on the menu.
assumption kills the ability to judge.
falsity comes knocking and i answer.
it has to stop. and it did.
wash the words and sleep on it.

a letter to God

Dear God,
i have sinned.
i often go astray from your path.
i have been punished from time to time.
but do not let me drown in my own pool of sins.
do not let me suffocate in the room of evil.
lead me to You.
lead me to You.
amin.

disconnected

disconnected.
wrapped around those fingers of endless worries.
struggling to stay above the surface and breathe.
i am disconnected.

flood

the news feed and the timeline are flooded excessively with crappy politics cries.
it is annoying, just like the ants stuck inside your skinny jeans.
i know some people just couldn't take the story somewhere else,
but at least, learn to be more considerate.
i say yes, to the freedom of speech,
but no to the freedom of whining and complaining.

the case of an EX

an ex is not actually your enemy.
and there's no rush to blame them for everything that happened between you and him.
your ex can be a lesson of what you really are, what you really want and what you really couldn't tolerate.
think of it as a reflection of yourself. learn from it, don't mourn it.
to regard them as an enemy means you still include him in your life when you shouldn't.
and to let him play the villain will make you think that you are always right which is obviously ridiculous.

an ex is a tragic history.
an event you wouldn't want to go through all over again.
but don't erase it. it was written in your history.
accept and deal with it.
most people went through it and they survived.
it's not the end of the world.

politics

sick.
vague.
lost its definition long time ago.
crappy soap opera.
fighting for things you want to believe but never be able to know the naked truth.
can you really trust the truth?

just one of those days

this is just one of those days.
you get cranky out of the pink.

this is just one of those days.
you just want to shut your mouth and hurt nobody.

this is just one of those days.
you feel what you are not supposed to feel and you are enjoying it.

this is just one of those days.
you want to blame everything but yourself.

this is just one of those days.
you have tears clouding your eyes and swear you won't let it fall.

just one of those days.

jaded

after all said and done,
things didn't really matter now.
it was an impaired debate.
an ugly conversation.
it wasn't a closure,
it was another door leading path to hatred.
i was jaded.
back then and to this moment of speaking.
so i let you be.
and i let myself free.
because i am jaded.

not so guilty pleasure

i've got less than two months to burn the cash.
and today was one of the days.
and there was no guilt. great.

Pororo, T-rex and Henna

oh well.
the rain won't stop.
and it won't hop.
but i have spend my day today to its limit.
i have met blue penguin with thick glasses, Pororo and friends for the first time.
discovered t-rex's fossil. and broke em into pieces.
spilled henna all over my body.
played puzzle ten times.
babysitting is fun. well, at least for me.
i have stop from saying 'it's fun being a kid again' to
'gosh i wish i had daughters like them now'.
i guess, it grows as your age and maturity, accordingly.
babysitting taught me well. patience. strength. a sense of tolerance.
juggling with multi-tasking.
and yeah, it taught me to be fun again too.

the case of one-room

it was not love at first sight.
out of desperation, i was a stray cat in need of shelter.
and i found this one room.
imagine this:
i could reach the fridge while lying down on mattress.
the kitchen only good for one butt.
my bathroom is on the stage and
the glass is visible, i need stickers to avoid nudity.
the door open backward, my guests hate it.
small space. two is a crowd.
stuffy at times. igloo at one time.

but then again,
the wallpaper has wiped my tears.
the floor witnessed my laughter.
i drew my dreams and fantasies on the ceiling.
tiny kitchen turned me into chef.
the door reminds me of surprises.
the bathroom became my beauty spa.
the space was laden with memories.
every corner worth more than it seems.
every little thing was a lesson of gratefulness.

how could i not be grateful?

in love with the same person

everyday i wake up

i fall in love with the same person.

and with the same person

i found my happiness.

and with the happiness

i sustain my energy.

and with the energy

i build my love.

and with my love

i keep it for the next day.

a next day where

i fall in love with the same person. 

something at random

here i am, writing something.

a thought or two for us to think.

an affection so deep it'll sink.

and i'm no where near the brink.

do you care to enlighten me?

for something you should not worry.

point out the door, i have the key,

might as well you set me free.

this time around  leave some space,

for us to breathe just in case,

love is not all about detail...

ps/ it was something i found in my treasure box.

is this normal?

this is exclusively me and i'm in no near an attempt to write on behalf on others.
while others juggling with different roles in their stages in life, being a wife, a mother,
a working woman, a friend, a lover, i'm still at this stage of life of role-less.
i'm still stuck.

i'm not a wife.
i don't have steady job yet.
not a good friend.
lover? probably.

is this normal? it's not that i'm complaining but i'm just wondering.
will i ever make it to the next stage? if i ever make it there, will i able to face it?
it's all started with the simple happy news of pregnancy. it made me think,
oh God, i'm getting old. i guess, a happy news for another woman might be another
woman's worry. is it normal to let my emotions feel what it feels?

i'm all about questions and i'm turning to God for answers.
God will answer me someday. so i thank God, in advance.
so i guess, this part at least made me feel normal.

common grounds

in search of a stable relationship,
do we really need to find the common grounds between the two?
should everything be in common?
hobbies. favorite food. favorite movies. favorite songs.
do common grounds guarantee the soundness of the relationship?
or should we take the road less traveled and settle for something eccentric?
this is not a preaching and i'm not using rhetorical questions.
this is a REAL question.

heavy steps

so many things evolved from the past three years.
i saw my own evolution in the reflection of others, just like the wonder of mirror.
this place has given me so much. i've tasted numerous emotions and walked through
all sorts of experiences. i had my fun but i have to breathe reality, soon. very soon.
two months fly like two seconds. i'm thinking hard on what i would do
to make every second worth a diamond. should i take things slow?
should i rush and catch up with things i would miss most? the clock is ticking, as we speak, and as i write.
and tomorrow comes, another short of days.